WALKING INTO THE NEW YEAR WITH A PEACEFUL SPIRIT

Let me start by apologising for not completing my Blogmas Christmas serie. I fell sick during that time, then fell sick again with whatever was in the air. And I decided to just take some time off twitter and blogging. But I am better now, hope you all had a wonderful Christmas like I did. I know most of us were sick at that time but sickness should not stop you from enjoying the joy that life brings.

I asked God for one thing in 2021. And He not only answered that prayer but ticked off some goals I had written and not planned any sort of action to accomplish. I am beyond grateful for 2021, it was a good year, could have been better but I will appreciate the good things that came out of it.

Source: Jordana Atim

I learnt a lot in 2021, last year was an “it is what it is” year for me. I decided to observe, understand (at least try to) and love the people in my life for who they actually are. It made life easier for me, I was more accepting, forgiving and tolerant towards people. I learnt to give people space when they needed it, I learnt to let go when I was shouted at or spoken rudely to. I learnt to just be more understanding of people’s actions.

The one thing I struggled with in 2021 was remaining positive amidst certain circumstances and people. I was constantly fighting to ignore certain negative remarks and energy that I felt did not align with what I wanted. I am naturally a quiet person, I deal with a lot on my own, not because I choose to but because I have not found that person I can openly talk to that will be understanding rather than judgemental of what I am going through.

All through 2020 and 2021 people have widely spread awareness about mental health but do we really understand it? Are we sensitive to the people around us? and are we really willing to accept the shame that comes with unpacking the trauma we are dealing with? I believe that trauma is deep rooted and has been unconsciously passed on through generations. But that is a topic for another day, today let us reevaluate 2021.

I was fortunate enough to spend my Christmas holiday and new year with positive energy. All through 2021 I found myself subconsciously asking God, “Why am I still here.” I was exhausted with living and waking up to nothing. Do not get me wrong, I am grateful, very grateful for life and what I have. But we all want more from this thing called life, I know for a fact most of us are not where we want to be and a lot of people are quietly suffering from depression.

I hate it when people tell me, “You are strong Jordana.” Truth is I am, but I would also like not to be. When you are a strong person people always assume you are okay, you have your life figured out and you can handle anything. But I also understand that most people do not know how to help ‘strong people’.

Over the years, I have discovered that I have a pattern of going into a mode where I suddenly become unhappy and want to just be left alone. I disconnect from people,…

I decided to dig deeper into understanding why I go through this pattern. Like I said, before, I am a quiet person and I go through a lot of things on my own. And bottling up does me more harm than good. I will bottle up a lot of pain for a long time and when it gets too much for me to handle, the slightest thing will eventually lead to my breakdown and I go to that dark hole and just cry, and think about everything that is not right with my life.

This year, I want to do better, I want to guard my peace, take care of my mental health and seriously chase the things I want in life. I need to be more focused and fierce about my goals and improving as a human being. So, happy new year to you all and I hope we have a year filled with breakthroughs and abundant blessings.